After talking with a Shaman, I was given step by step instructions on how to visit the underworld. It's mostly about imagining some kind of descent downward until you reach a threshold. I've always climbed up trees or ladders during my meditations (which I now know is how a person can travel to the upper realms) but travelling down didn't feel quite as natural to me. She specifically noted that the most important part was to travel safely by first finding "my" tree and grounding myself to it. I closed my eyes and found myself at the Morton Arboretum walking towards my favorite tree next to Lake Marmo.
"I should have always known that this was my tree," I thought as I approached it. A piece of Jeff is at this tree, too. We claimed it as "our tree" during our first visit to the arboretum over 12 years ago. The shaman said to look for a hole in my tree, either in the roots or on the side of the trunk. As I listened to her words, I knew instantly that there was an actual hole in the roots of this tree that has always felt very special. Jeff had taken a photo of this hole because we couldn't believe a tiny green sprout was growing out of it.
I was so excited when I saw it again that I almost dove right in. Thankfully I heard another, smarter piece of myself say, “Are you crazy? You haven't even grounded yourself yet! Sit back and breathe. Enjoy this scenery for a minute.”
I sat down and rested my back against the trunk of the tree. I looked out at the branches hanging over the water, nearly skimming the top. There was light reflecting amongst the shadows and I could hear the sounds of summer bugs humming softly around me. I thought to myself again, "This is the tree where you are the most safe.” I continued to take lots of calm breaths until I felt ready to go into the hole.
I imagined myself stepping in but I could see only darkness around me. The shaman said that in this hole there should be two sets of stairs: one going up and one going down; then a door going out the side of the tree at the main level. Mine were solid concrete stairs sitting side by side. I tried to descend downstairs but it felt more like going in circles. I tried again and again to go down, imagining all sorts of staircases, but I kept winding up at the top once more. I remember looking at the staircase that went up and considered how much easier that felt.
Then I had a thought; I asked if Evie would be able to join me on my journey. Suddenly, a beautiful hawk flew into the hole and gently landed on my forearm. Together, we attempted another descent down the stairs. It felt dark and I knew there was some fear of the unknown about the whole thing. When Evie and I were kids, we would often have to travel across town at night to get to each other's houses. We probably lived in the world's safest town, but there were quite a few stretches of road that were very dark and frightening to us and we had a trick that we would use to help us feel better. Together we would hold hands and sing "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. Now here we were, reunited in the dark and descending into the unknown when I heard us singing again:
“Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl, the girl who has everything?
Look at this trove, treasures untold.
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think,
'Sure, she’s got everything.'
I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a plenty.
I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore.
You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty.
But who cares? No big deal.
I want more.”
And just like that, we emerged into a deep, dark forest...
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